A Vague Description, A Long Winded Question, Seeking Empathy.

I am a LaVeyan Satanist. I am, however, currently only surrounded by sheep, people, adults and children, that can do naught but follow orders. I have come to the understanding that being a leader, a wolf, per-say, some who gets what he wants, is not evil or wrong. People go together like peanut butter and jelly, like that... the sheep need a leader, the wolves, or the shepherds, or whatever you choose to call them, need wool, they need meat.

I am currently studying one of the greatest books of the west, Think and Grow Rich. I'm not done reading it, but it does echo some of the tenets found in the Satanic Bible, and I see now that it goes together with Satanism, as they are basically the same faith/belief. And I would challenge readers to compare them.

As I'm sure you've guessed, the writing industry is one of the three I have chosen to make my given fortune in. As LaVey said, Satan did have a flare for thees types of careers.

I never used to be confident, and I had no self esteem for about a year... but I found myself. I cast off my demon, and any interaction I have with these forces from now on will be to my benefit.

I do believe that it is possible to influence the physical realm with magic. Hill and the authours of the secret seemed to believe so as well... but they called it the Law of Autosuggestion. I already know that that law works.

Of course, being surrounded by sheep and people who have known me since I was demon possessed, there is more than enough jealousy to go around. Most of it is harmless, if annoying. But because of where I am in life, there are figures of authourity who abuse their power with the sole purpose of ruining my life, or making my life a living hell. I have already tried compromising with these idiots, but they know that I have no power to stop them. They are the ones in charge, hitting them will only result in severe punishment, and what could I do??? Call the authourities??? I know I am in the right.

I have already called out to Lucifer to curse them, but I have not been heard. I did not use ritual. I decided that I would try to reason with them, but the fools are confident in the knowledge that there is nothing I can do to stop them. I have already reached the pint of CRYING because of the hate they have insighted in me.

So, in the spirit of a true LaVeyan, I have decided to train myself in the Black Arts, and exact my revenge. I don't know why they would think that anyone as ambitious as myself would put up with their unfair treatment for too long...

I would like for my fellow Satanists, surely many of whom have had confrontations of their own with the psychic vampires and self-delusional idiots mentioned in the Bible, to point me in the direction of works that will educate me in the ways of the Black Arts. Please keep in mind that I haven't read any books not written my Anton LaVey on this topic. Please, point me in the right direction, recommend a site or a list of books that, after reading and employing in my life, will give me the power to influence (righteously- and by that I mean that I will be in the right-) events or states in the physical realm.

Thanks in advance.

Expect.

-J.