Help on finding a GD

I have been reading up on satanism for a while now. I am fully interested and willing to become one.
I am curious what things i have to offer for certain things.
Also how do i find and contact my GD?
Will I still be able to keep my boyfriend, Will i have control over my life?

I am scared, yet not scared to do this. Once I get a reply that it is ok, not to be scared. I will calmly do this. Im just referring to the things i see happen to people with demons (exorcisms:!:  and other bad things.I don't want to get rid of my GD once i find one if he is good to me as for i show him respect and give as needed) If I do this, Will it be a bad outcome for me?

Help greatly appreciated.